but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
