Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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