the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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