That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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