This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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