dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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