becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize