can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
