You smell like a Billy Joel song
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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