I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pants are for mortals
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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