it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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