I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
