So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
