none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
