i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When are your genitals available?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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