You smell like stripper and shame
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
