I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
