Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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