Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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