Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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