Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
