Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
