i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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