i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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