Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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