your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Umm I'm too high to move.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
