i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
