This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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