You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
