Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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