At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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