his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
