3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize