you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
