Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
