If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
