What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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