she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
