Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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