I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am available for nakedness
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
