Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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