Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
