Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
