he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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