Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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