so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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