So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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