I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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