I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
