then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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