No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
