True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
