If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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