How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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