Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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