people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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