I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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