Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
