You're my little dorito
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
