We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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