You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
