it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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