Me too!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
