You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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