I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
