So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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