i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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