Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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