The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
