Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
