it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's like God shit irony all over that family
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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