Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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