she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
