I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
